As of now, Iman Firash is 2 years 11 months 30 days 19 hours and 16 minutes!
Three years ago at 11.25 am, my firstborn came into the world. I will remember that day forever just as vividly as when it happened, but for everyone who wasn’t there and cares to read, I chronicled the whole experience in a very very long entry series by series in my old journal in Bubblynotes.Com. The most joyous moment of my life and I remember it like it was yesterday. The sweetest life journey I could ever taste and I could relive every moment of it infinitely – the way he smelled, the sound of his cry, the way his skin felt against mine and the way my heart at that moment was set to beat with him. I yearned for him my entire life and in that moment the world was very, very good indeed.
Tahun ni entah kenapa, memang lain sangat-sangat perasaan itu ok? Sebak lain macam pula! … We’ve said goodbye to the baby years and now you’ve leave the toddler years behind too! Just like that! How quickly these 3 years have passed. Sobss… … Our little boy is becoming a little man pretty fast! I wish you would not rush growing up but it seems like that is not possible! I can’t believe you have been with us for three years now. It seems like yesterday, you are just a tiny blip inside Mommy’s tummy. Then after 38 weeks of carrying you inside me, plus three years of you in the outside world, here you are becoming a wonderful kid!
Syukran Ya Allah! He’s grown so much, he can do so many things, sing so many songs on his own versions… He loves to play “hide & seek”. His favourite colour is still orange. He picks Thomas and Friends books to read each day and asks for Mommy to hug and kiss him before bed every night. But, wasn’t it just yesterday that I held his tiny body? Wasn’t it just yesterday his tiny body was sitting on my lap? I tell him I love him at least more than 20 times a day. I think he knows it’s true. Gosh, how different he looks now than 3 years ago. It just amazes me how much he has changed and will continue to change.
Firash, there is no way Mommy can ever tell you how much Mommy loves you. How much Mommy’s heart aches and stretches and smiles with watching you grow. But Mommy will show you, Mommy will show you every beautiful day of your life that Mommy indeed was made to love you. . Three years of nights with your warm little body pressed into my back as you breathe deeply and dream. Three years of laughter–your head tipped back and your sunny spirit released with that smile. Each year, each day, each moment, you bloom more beautifully, drawing me in, teaching me more. And Firash, Mommy will never forget this year. This year when I needed you so badly. This year when your presence comforted and guided me through difficult days. This year when you taught me how to love. You don’t know what you’ve done for me yet but someday, I will tell you about you who gave what I needed and your joy with this gift from Allah SWT.
I will never ever forget this third year of your life. How through most of it, you held my hand. You wipe my tears, your hug me and you understand when I’m sad or down. It was such a special year, Firash, because you are a special boy. You are my compassionate, my spirited one, my independent one who like to find your own way. You are caring and kind. You are my sunny little willow and every dream I ever had my entire life about the little boy I wanted someday just can’t compare with greatness you turned out to be. Watching you grow is an art. An art I am master of and I will forever study the wonder that is you. Allah gave me a beautiful, handsome amazing boy. Why? I know you were hand picked for Mommy. For you are going to do great things, Little One.
Even though you’re getting older, I’m glad you’re still my baby. I’m still the one you turn to when you’re hurt, sad, scared or just want a hug. I’m still one of your favourite people to cuddle up with and read a story. Part of me wants to push the pause button on life and make it last a little longer. The other part of me is eager to see what type of little person you’re going to become. And, yes, I’ll admit, I’m hoping you’ll have few less tantrums this year and won’t get mad at me because I won’t let you do x, y and z. Being three can be tough. You think you know it all and you’re invicible (like superheroes).
I know there’s a big world out there, and I worry. Still, I’ll make an effort to let you explore as much as possible, without hovering too much. I also know we will probably have some disagreements this year and realize you’re still learning how to express yourself. I know when I walk you through the preschool doors next year… that it might be hard for both of us. You’ll meet new people, learn a lot. Then, it’s off to kindergarten and before I know it… well I better not get ahead of myself because even though I wonder about the future, I’m just glad to have you by my side each day. And, when you ask me to hug you with not just one arm but two, I will because I know you might not do that forever. .
And, in a small celebration of my little man making it a full three years…
Tadaaa… …. A customized Thomas and Friends cake by Vd.licious which I will share in the upcoming entry…In Shaa Allah… Thank you so much to the baking couple for this awesome cake which made his day today at 12.00 am sharp! He can’t even wait for the morning to come and insisted to blow the candle, cut the cake as soon as possible as he is so excited about the cake itself. Ha ha ha… I still can’t forget how he react and his facial expressions when he finally successful in persuading me to open the birthday cake box. He was like oh wowwww! A big smile and sparkling eyes on his face! .
Mommy… candle? Ok ok… next step… Mommy don’t you understand that you must light up the candle for him? He is so eager to celebrate his birthday! Before you even finish litting up the candle he already sing a birthday song to himself… Oh my! Ha ha ha…Then he ran to his play area, seems like he was trying to get something for the cake cutting ceremony.
Yup! He took his existing Thomas and Friends with the ideas of…
Topping up another Thomas and Friends on the cake! … His brain cells connecting and working and working with ideas…Alhamdulillah… He asked for the cake cutter knife and he is ready to blow the candle and cut the cake. I guess as much, once he put another Thomas and Friends on the cake, he feels now his cake is complete with his own decorations…
Done! This is just the beginning of it! … Again this year like last year, I had the birthday anticipation of the week. It truly felt like an all-week celebration (ha ha ha… melampau tak?), especially with his birthday falling on Saturday this year. The entire week is full of memories… the anniversary of my last ultrasound and appointment and the last time I saw him moving his precious heart beating, the anniversary of the day of my delivery and my birthday itself…so many memories.
My never ending prayers for you… Semoga anak manja Mommy ni sentiasa diberkati dan dirahmati oleh Allah SWT, dimurahkan rezeki, membesar sebagai anak yang soleh, mentaati Allah, diberikan kesihatan tubuh badan, kejayaan serta kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat hendaknya. In Shaa Allah, Amin. Juga semoga Ash sentiasa dilindungi oleh Allah SWT. Amin… .
*Rolling out the sponsored mini celebration or birthday treat for him this evening… In Shaa Allah…