We tend to trust our feeling, but sometimes our romance compass fails, and we may end up stuck in a bad marriage. While bad marriage certainly damages you, when you have kids, your relationship with a toxic spouse has even greater negative impact on them. You may fear to leave your partner because you don't want your kids to suffer, but your kids are suffering even more while you are in a bad marriage. Let's figure out in which ways staying in bad marriage can damage your children.
They're Getting Traumatized Emotionally and Mentally
Quite often a public image of a family may mean more to you than your kids' mental state. You want to remain a perfect nuclear family on the outside, but that won't work if you are not a nuclear family on the inside. If your children see you fight on a daily basis than you status of a nuclear family means absolutely nothing. Children feel the constant tension between you and your spouse, and they are confused by it. The emotional and mental pain they kids of in name only couples feel leaves scars that remain for the rest of their lives. Moreover, making your kids observe your daily fights and scandals, you are unlikely to help them learn what happiness, compassion, respect, harmony, and cooperation is. Kids are generally left without joy and happiness that childhood should bring, when they live with the emotionally divorced parents that continue living together for illogical reasons.
Kids Feel Responsible for Your Unhappiness
Children often feel responsible for the happiness of their parents. If their parents constantly fight, the kids may start blaming themselves for that. Having a low self-esteem for the rest of their lives is the least negative result. Feeling responsible for his or her parents unhappiness a kid may run away from home or even commit a suicide. While you think that keeping a family together for the sake of your children, you are just making things worse. Your kids must learn how to respect themselves and how to be proud of themselves, and that's almost impossible when you constantly fight with your spouse. Children need real family, not a fake family.
Your Kids Would End Up in a Bad Marriage Themselves
You know that your relationship is a model for your kids? You want to show your kids that a healthy family is a nuclear family? Well, you may succeed in it, but you are showing your kid that a healthy family is a nuclear family where parents beat and yell at each other. Now, ask yourself, are you happy? Guess the answer is – no. Would you like your kids to be as unhappy as you are? Guess the answer is no, again. Staying in a bad marriage would give your kids an unhealthy model for the relationships. Kids rarely manage to discontinue following the example of their parents in their relationship. Mind that if you are unhappy parent, then you are going to have unhappy children, and most likely, unhappy grandchildren. You need to stop right now before it's too late.