1.1.2017 | Bismillahirahmanirahim… Another year has come and gone, time for another round of resolutions! . But before that…
Happy New Year 2017! Selamat Tahun Baru 2017!
Every new year brings an opportunity to look back and think about the good and the not-so-good moments When it comes to parenting, there are always times we regret and those we cherish. Making resolutions is an opportunity to move past the ones that weren’t our best parenting moments and focus on how to create more positive parenting experiences. Making parenting New Year’s resolutions shouldn’t be about trying to be the perfect parent, or molding our child into the perfect kid. Instead, focus on what’s actually in our control and give ourselves attainable, realistic goals.
Never had this kind of thing called parenting goals or parenting resolution’s before. Ha ha ha… … But as Iman Firash will be starting his kindergarten moments soon… Suddenly, something triggered me and made me think that as a parent, it’s very important to look back on the year that’s passed and to take note of the things I wished I could’ve done differently – especially with regards to Iman Firash. Wish that I could’ve played with him more instead of locking myself up in the office. For the year that’s gone by, what’s done is done. But, Alhamdulillah, Allah had given me the opportunity to have another year to make things right. In Shaa Allah…
Actually, the beginning of the new year is where I think about what I dislike about myself, how I failed miserably the year before and how I can now take a new lease on life for the upcoming yeart to right everything that is wrong. For A Mommy, the New Year resolution’s kick is another reason to feel guilty. In a sick sort of way, it’s actually more time efficient to feel guilty at New Year. Ihiksss… . I figure this is the time to get guilt out of the way so I can move on with motherhood for the rest of the year. This year, rather than adding to my own guilt (I don’t need any fuel for that fire), I decided to have a list of parenting goals related to motherhood. I also decided to make them something that I actually had a chance of accomplishing. Here they are:
Reduce The Word “Don’t”
I want to reduce how often I use the word “don’t”. That means I’ll say, “Please play properly” instead of “Don’t throw your toys”. I think it’s better for our relationship for me not to always be the source of negative reminders. When I do say “don’t” for an important reason, maybe it will stick more since he is not barraged by “don’ts” constantly.
Put A Cap on My Work Day
I will try not to check my e-mail after I’ve reached home and while Iman Firash is still awake for the day – even though it never stops coming in. I let the day’s tasks, hassles and responsibilities slowly melt off me as I become present for my son. The computer, the smartphone got my attention all day – now it’s my son turn.
Actively Go Bilingual
I resolve to begin speaking more English around our home. Since I am the bilingual parent in the home, it’s up to me to raise my son speaking more than one language. We will sing, dance and play our way through this mission of mine. (actually I’ve started this since ever he was borned). 2017 - I will actively go bilingual and actively adding more and more English vocab for Iman Firash.
Mother & Wife
I’m making a promise to not give all my time to being a good mom but make sure to save some of “me” to share with My Super Fantastic Supportive Husband. Giving my son a good example of a healthy and loving marriage will hopefully help him feel secure, confident and blessed.
Create More Fun
Most kids will tell us it’s the experiences of childhood they remember the most, not the stuff. I am thinking of ways to incorporate more play and family time into our monthly routines. Trying to designate a regular family outing which are simple ways to bring everyone together with fun activities.
Be Patient, Even With My Own-self
It’s easy to lose your cool when you’re juggling a million different chores, kids, responsibilities and expectations. Something has to give, and it’s often your last nerve. Resolving to be more patient can take many forms. I want to practice taking a step back and breathing deeply when I feel the irritation building, delegate more often and if Iman Firash a little bit mature, I would like to institute a chore chart so the load is shared. .
Keep My Eye On The Big Picture
I am raising a future adult who will hopefully be responsible, kind, smart and hard working. But, it will never be perfect. Most kids go through various phases of behavior and different habits – and not all will be wonderful. However, in the end, he will grow up and most likely not be carrying his blankie off to college or still crawling into my bed at 12 years old. I will try to treasure the great moments and put the not-so-great ones in perspective.
Make “ME” Time
It’s easy to get lost in the chaos of parenthood, but the best example that I think I could set for him is to show that I value myself. Whether it’s a monthly with my friends and a girls’ night out, or a long bath that is my weekly “do not disturb” ritual, or date night with my spouse, I will ensure that I will schedule the time that is truly just for me.
No one CAN be perfect, but we can be the best parent we can be for our children. All kids are unique and each children is different and will need different tools, strategies and methods in order to create the children that we want. So follow your Parenting Instinct that tells YOU what is right for YOUR child, stick to it and be proud! Setting small achievable goals, the kind that you can check off on a mental (or physical) to-do list, will be more effective than all caps RESOLUTION.
The way we live our life will be remembered and copied by our children, so I will try to strive to be proud of my actions each and every day. If I ever do make a mistake, I will use it as an opportunity to take responsibility, forgive myself, acknowledge it as a mistake and use it as a teachable moment. In Shaa Allah…Amin.